Where are we headed to?

I could not sleep much last night. Most of the time I was tossing and turning and my brain just refused to zone out. Twice I had to get up and go to the wash room thinking I was going to get sick.

And no. It was not because I was under any stress except the usual study-related problems. It was because right before going to bed, I had made the mistake of reading e-tribune’s story on Domestic Violence Bill reaching a deadlock in a joint sitting of the parliament. The current status is that JUI-F and even PML(N) are advocating against it and Maulana Fazl-ur-Rehman has vowed that he will fight tooth and nail against the bill that protects women and children from getting beaten up. Infact his exact words during the session were “Western culture cannot be promoted under the pretext of protection in Islamic states”, which indirectly means that beating up women is an eastern and Islamic culture and quite acceptable to us.

Let me tell you a very simple thing first. Why do we consider stealing or robbing someone a crime? On a human level, we consider it a moral and legal crime because we are violating another person’s rights and are harming him or her. We have been taught by our parents and then in schools that stealing is wrong. It is a criminal act and has adequate punishment. On a religious level, we are told that our Prophet (PBUH) condemned this act so much that he even said that he wouldn’t hesitate to cut-off his own daughter’s hand if she was found stealing. So, because we grew up with these things being taught to us, today most of us civilized people do not rob anyone, no matter how needy we are. Those who do eventually get punished one way or another.

I never had much hope from this Domestic Violence Bill, to put it in plain words. Reason being our society and its male-dominated environment would make sure such laws are never implemented in their true spirit. There are men who would favor this law but then they are in relative minority or atleast they are not in the parliament so it does not make much difference at this moment whether we have this law or not.

Having said that, there is one thing that I had been hopeful about. Even if such women protection laws do not get implemented in my or your life time, atleast our future generations will grow up being taught that it is wrong and a criminal act to beat up anyone, be it outside or inside of home.  This is how all moral sins and legal laws have been systematically ingrained in our brains. If a boy grows up thinking beating up his wife will be criminally punishable, he is less likely to do it when he gets married.

On a human level, we all know domestic violence is wrong. What strikes me the most is that the opposition to this bill comes from the religious right or let me say so-called religious right and they use Islam to justify the violence. And no matter how many times do I read the Quran or listen to scholars discussing the rights of women, I have never come across anything that allows men to harm their wives in any way. It is beyond me how people like Fazl-ur-Rehman, Khawaja Saad Rafique and even some women parliamentarians would claim such a thing and to my astonishment, there are people who actually think they are right and are protesting against this bill ! My only question to these mis-guided people is: Why is sunnah limited to having a beard only and not seeing the way Prophet (PBUH) treated his wives? This again brings me to the point that why do we even need to use Islam to justify such inhumane thinking when we know that in our religion nothing is against nature. How could someone even think that Allah (SWT) would ever allow his fairer creation be violently treated in something as sacred as marriage? It does not make sense to me.

I think I am too shocked right now and my belief in humanity is slowly fading away. Someone asked me a few days ago that why do women need separate laws and special treatment for themselves? My answer was very simple. Women NEED special treatment and their rights have to be defined and written because unlike men, their rights are not given to them on a plate. They always have to ASK to be treated as humans. They always have to ASK men not to beat or harass them. Otherwise it is considered NORMAL treatment.

I never call myself a feminist because I’m still struggling for women to get basic human rights; Equal rights are too far off an idea to spend my energy on. But this recent news has made me fear for the future of thousands of women and children. How can we bring up our daughters in a world like? If we shelf this bill now, not only women will no longer be protected; but also domestic violence will be seen as something legal and allowed which will encourage the abusive men even more.

And for those who are confused about Islam and domestic violence, try doing your own research for once , instead of listening to Mullahs who get votes in the name of Islam. It should be unnecessary to get defensive about such a logical issue but since it looks like some of the parliamentarians are bent on defaming Islam, I as a muslim feel appalled and consider it my duty to point out what Allah (SWT) and his beloved Prophet (PBUH) actually say about women rights.

1. Sabr is Not Suffering in Silence - Webinar (Yasmin Mogahed)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6mzFJikLyG8

2. Removing the Silence on Domestic Violence by Shaykh Hamza Yusuf

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BDEKJDgXO-U

Here is the link to the bill itself that i found on the national assembly website.
http://www.na.gov.pk/uploads/documents/1302132729_698.pdf 


Please try to find out for yourself where this bill is unIslamic and how could it promote westernized thinking as per JUI-F's tantrum in the parliament.

My apologies if I sounded like ranting. I needed to get it out of my system.

How to get famous in 5 minutes (Tips by a mean PTI TROLL)

The easiest way to get famous these days is to write an anti Imran Khan or an anti PTI blog. What I have noticed in my short twitter life is that most anti PTI tweets come from people who have lesser followers than the amount of eggs I keep in my fridge (No offence). Another remarkable fact about these people is that they tag a famous so-called liberal, blogger or a journalist in their tweets asking them questions ranging from “Where is Imran Khan these days?” to “IK has no vision, don’t you agree?”, to “@xyz: What are your comments on abc article about SMQ or Kasuri?”.

Seriously, people: I can give you better ways to get famous. For starters: You can go nude with an ISI tattoo. OR if you want to do serious work, make a documentary on some real issue and get an Oscar !!! Chances are, you will gain more “respectful” attention this way. And please stop tagging the liberals in each and every tweet. The reason is very simple: THEY ARE NOT LIBERALS ! Rather they are “liberal-extremists”. They don’t give a damn about you; All they care about is how negatively you tweet about Imran Khan or PTI. And see, because I studied science in school, I can even make an equation out of this situation:

“ANTI PTI TWEETS/COMMENTS  is directly proportional to  ATTENTION FROM PSEUDO LIBERALS”

Of course we can add all sorts of variables and parameters in this equation (for example your display picture or how ruthless you are in criticism, even gender) but for the time being, this will do.

=> ANTI PTI ∞ ATTENTION

=> ANTI PTI = DISPLAY PICTURE * ATTENTION

Right?

Coming back to the eggs in my fridge….

No…Let’s go to “how to get famous part”: I read a hilarious blog post by majorly profound (no idea what his real name is) giving a template of “how to write a thought provoking article” and it inspired me to make my own template on “How to get famous or how to write an ANTI PTI blog”. Since I have proved beyond any reasonable doubt that these two things are directly proportional to each other (see above), I consider myself qualified enough to make this template. So, let’s go step by step:

1. Identify a topic: You MUST select a topic on which you want to bash Imran Khan or target PTI. Even if you don’t find a good topic, it doesn’t really matter as long as you keep on bashing throughout your article. But let me give you a few choices to help you. 

• Problems in the Educational system
• Terrorism
• Corruption
• Energy crisis or any other crisis Pakistan is having

You can pick any one topic out of the above. It’s not important what you select as long as you relate it to PTI somehow.

2. Make the topic/problem sound like it is PTI’s doing or fault. It does not really matter, and I repeat, IT DOES NOT MATTER if PTI has never been in power. The liberals who will be reading your blog will most probably be watching Golden Globes simultaneously. Also, use following sentences to prove your point.

• Imran Khan does not have a vision. He rants and talks about ending _______(your topic problem) in 90 days but he does not explain it. (Please ignore the fact that IK does give a guideline about these issues otherwise you wont be able to write your blog)
• PTI’s policies are half baked theories and _____ (your selected topic) is not included in his manifesto. (Please ignore the nagging conscience which tells you that you have never opened PTI’s manifesto and the fact that PML-N simply copies everything they do. Also ignore that they are still in the process of developing their ideas into detailed road maps)

3. Now is the right time to attack the old faces entering the party. Pick any old face you last read about in someone’s tweet or blog. ATTACK !!!

• He is an old face. How will PTI bring change if it allows such people to become members.
• He was a Musharraf supporter. (Read SATAN)
• He is a rich person/feudal/industrialist. That fact alone makes him unsuitable for PTI.

Please ignore the fact that when PTI did not have electables, you were busying saying "PTI does not have any seasoned politicians". Now when PTI has electables (relatively clean ones, unfortunately God didn’t send angels for Imran Khan despite his frequent requests and prayers), now you have objections as to why PTI has old faces. You MUST ignore these thoughts because you have to finish your article.

4. Next step is to pick any other party or entity and show how PTI supports them. You can choose from the following:

• PTI didn’t criticize MQM in Karachi jalsa
• PTI prefers negotiating with Talibans
• PTI condemns drone attacks

Now here comes the real test of your writing skills. How you manage to manipulate the situation to your advantage depends directly on how weak your memory is.

If you select MQM, then you MUST NEVER mention that you were the one saying Imran Khan is not a politician. He needs to learn to be political. He is too direct and straightforward. Now Khan Sahab has learned some political tactics but you can USE it to your advantage and ask him why he avoided to clash with MQM in his jalsa.

If you select Taliban, DO NOT FORGET to mention his nick name “TALIBAN KHAN”. That is the jewel of this WHOLE article you see. Ignore the fact that the US has been brought down to its knees to negotiate and start the peace process. Ignore that WAR never solves anything.

If you select PTI’s anti drone stance, write a few words about how drones are killing high value targets. Ignore the number of civilian casualties and the fact that a true liberal NEVER SUPPORTS KILLINGS. NEVER.

5. If you still don’t feel like you have bashed enough, you can always refer to Imran Khan’s jewish connections. Lie through your teeth and go low. SO LOW that you reach the bottom of the earth.

Hope it helps. Try to use difficult english words as that would simply confuse a common person like me and your blog will look more "authentic". And GOOD LUCK with everything. Remember, if a pseudo liberal- extremist starts responding to your tweets, OMG: Mission achieved ! Get yourself a gold medal from a good sports shop. But don’t forget I’ll be there to troll you in the comments section or respond to your tweets which you can later retweet to show HOW FAMOUS you are.

Tsk Tsk,

A mean PTI troll.

and i mean it: A VERY MEAN PTI troll.

*The post is written in good humor. Dont take it literally please and kindly dont use this template for writing your blogs. Copyright issues you see. Ill simply sue you.

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

Coming back from a partnership agreement that two of my friends signed here in Holland, the male friend joked how he would have to pay the fine for his (now) official partner, if she was caught in some misconduct by the police. As such lamenting over the fact that as legal partners in Holland, they are no more independent individuals and that the girl could from then onwards always demand responsibility and share in her partner’s properties and assets. I do not know the details of the contract to know whether it works equally in the opposite direction as well, but that is not my concern and therefore I will not dwell on that.

Women related issues, in today’s world, form a major part of our usual discussions, and yet lots of work still needs to be done in eradicating the injustice that is perpetrated against them, not just in the developing world but also in the much more civilized and developed world of the west. Despite there being a judicial system that encourages and protects women to come out in the open with their complaints and a society that has come way beyond the typical stereotypes associated with women abuse and torture of any kind, the fact remains that anywhere in the world more women get raped or tortured and beaten than men. True that in the west such cases get reported more often with probably even punishments meted out at a much faster rate. But the number of such incidents in comparison to incidents of a reverse nature still remains very high. And that reminds me of a recent discussion with some Pakistani friends on the nature of equality and similarity between men and women.

The discussion started with me lamenting over the fact that some Dutch male colleagues did not offer a chair to a couple of us females during a one hour long meeting where seating arrangement was not adequate. Though not a very strong argument in favor of men-women dissimilarity, especially when seen in the context of the irony that a female professional brings to an engineering company, the one hour long fatigue (and boredom!) was good enough for me to pass a judgment. Despite being a person who has often rebelled against the traditional mindset in Pakistan to be given permission to run marathons, go to engineering college, participate in political and social activities AND also gone as far as rebel against one’s own female self to cycle in snow or walk 3 hours while fasting, THAT day provided me with a new insight. Seeing “strong” men seated while two women stood throughout the duration of that one hour long meeting, made me realize the inherent dissimilarities between the two genders. And I wondered how they could not, since just a few days earlier my Dutch supervisor while explaining to me the concept of marriage ceremonies in Holland, told me how the bride walks on the right side of the groom till the altar and after proclamation of marriage, the bride changes position to the left of the husband, signifying the authority of the man over the woman and the new family.

And though my Pakistani friends maintained that women could do just anything, or at least what men could, I insisted and still maintain that that is not true. True that, tasks considered impossible for women a few centuries ago are now being carried out with quite a lot of ease by women. That reasoning, HOWEVER,  is akin to using a false presumption. Women were NOT ALLOWED to explore the tasks they were allowed to later and therefore today one sees them in almost every field. It is not because they have, somehow, evolved over time and become equal “physically” and physiologically” to men. It is the challenges of today, not those of yesterday that will judge a women’s true prowess.  And today’s challenges show that women in engineering companies or colleges are not common and neither is their presence in car racing or extreme sports. True that the world has stopped raising its fingers at any such endeavor, but that has nothing to do with issue of equality anyways. That has to do with a systematic understanding of the potential of the two genders, not just by men but by women themselves as well.

For those who seem to look at just the apparent “evolution” of women over time, there is something that has stayed static over time. And that is the fact that ONLY women can give birth. The phenomenon changes the whole dimension with which the comparison between men and women is looked at. The process of reproduction in itself, with all other supporting biological processes, is not a mere scientific way women have been made; but rather has a more deep psychological meaning to the person a woman is. However strong a woman might seem physically and emotionally, inside she is still a woman tied to her biological and physiological roots; which she fortunately/ unfortunately cannot escape. This, however, has nothing to do with her intelligence, (though it is said that baby girls talk sooner than baby boys) in the literal sense of the word or the way it is used usually. It is no surprise therefore, I explained to my friends that day that an infant is more often entrusted to the mother than the father in cases of forced or unforced separations.  And it is also why mothers are more comfortable shopping for even male infants than fathers (something I noticed on a shopping trip to a local store in Holland).

The feminists of today seem to neglect or simplify the notion of motherhood and limit it to just the literal sense of the word. Men, on the other hand, use that as an excuse to subjugate women and term them weak.  Why not celebrate and rejoice in the great gift that God has given to women and understand the psychological and physiological demands of that great task God has entrusted to women alone? Why not rejoice in the emotional strength and nurturing quality God has given to women as a result of the responsibility of motherhood? And why not revel in the dissimilarity instead of using it as a means of confrontation?

Why not understand that men and women are two dissimilar beings made by God to work in harmony, and not necessarily compete with each other? Why not accept the different roles that each has, and tailor ourselves according to that? Why should we as women compete with men? Why strive to become like “them”?  Let us stop this race, before it destroys the peace of our societies.

And as a refresher, to elevate our feminine self let us, from now onwards, start with saying “Men are not equal to Women…(and end with)….

..But women are also not equal to men”…=)

Happy Reading.

-Aisha